honey, i’m home

i’m in cali and i’ve quickly approached the eve of post-independence day.  i’m sitting outside smoking a blunt spliff cigarette.  it’s cool, and because i’m seated in the pit of a beautifully quartered balcony, i only seldom feel the night’s california breeze.  cee-lo’s “bodies” is playing.  it’s about to end.  i must restart it.  i have tons of body rolls that were assigned to that song that have yet to be released + there’s something intoxicating about mr. callaway's voice.  it’s evil, yet gentle—soft yet rough.. strong, yet meek.  maybe it reminds me a bit of myself.  no matter.

i was on facebook today and i began to look at albums from my home that featured the treasured activities of alabama.  i laughed.  i smiled.  i reminisced.  for a moment i longed to be apart of that setting.  i remembered all my moments of the past and relocated them to the present, but then something hit me like a big yellow school bus… i realized that mobile, al was no longer my home.  it was a memory—a great, beautiful, articulate memory, but a memory nonetheless. 

i kept searching through friends… through albums.. and found a couple moments from dc.  it wasn’t fulfilling.  don’t get me wrong, i love dc.  i essentially “found” myself in dc, but it didn’t represent who i am or whom i’m to become, but who i was.  sadly, it didn’t even actually represent me at all.  it instead represented moments.. exquisite, pronounced, and potent moments that have shaped and re-structured my life.  i will always love washington, dc for that.  but no, it wasn’t until i met my "new" [noo-skool] family members that i realized where i belonged..

ny.  i’ve only dreamt of one other place more.. paris.  i know i will get there soon.

about ny.. i’m free there.  i have friends there.  i have a crush there [my crushes tend to last no longer than 10 days].  i have so much love there.  i’ve enjoyed cali and i will continue to love cali, but i’ve realized i’m more than infatuated, but in love with ny.

ny.. i thought i hated this you.  “you” became “it”, and i thought i was sick of it, but now i realize i’m its lovechild.  i’ve been its child for longer than i could ever imagine. ny: in you i feel alive.  i don’t know what is to become of me, but when i close my eyes and click my heels i always end at the foot of the brooklyn bridge.

so listen, let's not mince words.  this is my blog.  this is me.  get into me.  dustin, and i live in new york.

sincerely,

dustin