that’s me!!!

right now i’m not too sure where this article is going, and its already titled.  that’s weird. 

as i do every time i write, i’m multi-tasking with a medium.  this particular evening i’m watching sex and the city [a show that i’ve obviously started watching 12 years too late].   like i believe we all do with any situational, dramatic comedy, i’m attempting to assess which character is most like me.  the default narcissism in us all causes this reaction.  own it.

the four ladies who re-defined the art of maintaining and destroying our ideals about love are drinking flirtinis [pineapple, champagne, and vodka].  i want a double.  i also would like to know where i fair with these women.  sure, i’m a man, but whatever.  this is tv, i can be whomever i want to be. 

let the self-carnage begin…

like miranda, i’m a bitch and i have zero tolerance for nonsense [this is manifested from hurt].   like carrie, i’m much too forgiving and too open-minded [this is the product of hope].  like samantha, i have a sometimes insatiable libido [i’m a man].  like charlotte—wait, i’m nothing like charlotte. anyway, i’m a mashup of these characters and as i’ve learned from much too many episodes of glee, a mashup is beautiful and unique in that it pieces together the best parts of a body of work.  i’m a clusterfuck of characters and i’m pretty proud of it.

now i’m sure you’re wondering: “what does this mean in the grand scheme of things?”  the answer is unfortunately “nothing” except to say that we are multi-layered, fucked-up creatures that can’t be put into a box.  you aren’t samantha.  your gay friend isn’t will and you’re definitely not grace.  you’re not raymond, and nobody loves you.  it’s just reality and unfortunately fortunately i don’t make the rules.

so the next time you watch desperate housewives, svu [if you watch this show you suck] or anymore of the meaningless shows that invade our living rooms daily,  realize that the show isn’t about you.  you are just an amazing, stupid, beautiful, pitiful version of yourself… and that’s okay.

sincerely,

dustin